Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Go Saints!

And thank you Jessie Quiroz for pushing our total raised to date to $8,060!

Jessie and I worked together for a short time at Grey in planning. Jessie is an old soul. Wise. Like an organic sponge chilling out at the bottom of the ocean.

If you scuba dive, think about being 20 feet deep and hovering in a few light cross currents. The sea grass rides the waves gently back and forth...a mighty stingray swims by, an eel pokes his head out from a rocky cave....Anything can happen. But only in the context of love and peace and beauty.

The grass will eventually get eaten. The eel will eventually die. The stingray may participate in some freakish accident, perhaps even stab a crocodile hunter in the heart with its spiny barb. But a sponge lives on, seeing generation after generation of peace and love in the sea. And even when it encounters acts of aquatic terror, the sponge remains unchanged. Steady. Wise.

That's my Jessie. I love her. She's a Libra.

And, I want thank and acknowledge her for being so generous with her gambling winnings. She tells me she "tied for second in the football pool this week (GO SAINTS!) and won $22! So I'm doubling-ish it and throwing in $50. If the football luck continues, who knows what could happen?"

How sweet is that?! She also provided me the Wikipedia definition of traits of a Libra. Interesting. Here's what Kabbalah has to say about Libras --

Assets of the Libran:
Stylish, good taste, sociable, easy to love, great listeners, supportive friends, spiritual, able to discern the truth.

Main motivation:

Seeks justice

Challenges (and how to transform them):

Difficulty Pulling the Trigger
Librans are known for their capacity of seeing and understanding both sides of the picture. Their downfall is they can never decide; both sides make complete sense to them. Solution: Trust your gut and don’t obsess over past decisions.

Emotionally Blocked
Librans have a tendency to cover up their feelings. This trait will sometimes lead them to unfaithfulness because an unhappy Libra will look for happiness somewhere else. Solution: Express your feelings with your words, either spoken or written.

Can’t Hear Criticism
Librans tend to beat themselves up a lot, so when it comes time for hearing criticism, their heads are already full. Solution: Go easy on yourself. Good criticism will help you grow.

Flirty and Frivolous
When it comes to matters of the heart, Librans are ruled by the planet of Venus. On the surface, they’re all about romance and hedonism, but on the inside their hearts are guarded. Solution: Love is all about sharing – sharing your feelings, your fears, your hopes and dreams. Open your heart wide and let someone in.

How to improve relationships with a Libran:

Be gentle. When giving them criticism, preface it with praise.

Encourage them to collaborate. They work much better in partnerships than on their own.

Help them decide. Once they have decided, nothing can stop them.

Delicately encourage them to finish what they start.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Wow! $310 just blew into Malawi from out of the sky! We just entered the kabbalistic new moon of Libra (air sign), so I guess I should've expected this, but all the same it lifts my spirit and gives me great joy.

I guess you can say I planted the seed for this latest contribution a year or so ago when I took a chance on a freelance planner who did not have a lot of freelance planning experience. He reminded me somehow of myself -- very focused on realizing big dreams. I saw it in his eyes, and that's all I really needed to know he was capable of doing great work. He came on board for a few months, worked his butt off and made a great contribution to our team. I wish we had a role for him longterm, but we didn't.

That's all I did for Ed Kishinevsky. He reached out to say hello recently. I shared with him this effort. He donated AND chatted it up to some of his friends. Who are now my friends. For getting behind this great cause, I thank:


Steve & Patti Whitter, Laura Bunting, Matt Grosse, Kristen Le and Paul Levine
(and of course the EK connection).

Our total donated to date is now $8,010.


Come on Libra wind! Blow the house down!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Nice! The last donation pushed the total raised to date to $7,700

Thank you Ed Kishinevsky!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

So I did it. I did it with a lot of noise in my head. Not good enough. Not fast enough. Too arrogant. Not trained. It was a personal worst. And I felt really bad about it. I got stress fractures in both feet. I couldn't walk without excruciating pain for two weeks.

But I did it. And today I am better. And I want to acknowledge a few of the contributions that have come in post-race, dialing up the total raised thus far to $7,670

For this last boost, I thank: Bob Tse, Wendy and Nishant Upadhyay, Jyoti Talwar, Cephora Grundman and my mom, Leona Jane Silka.

Keep it coming! :) It's not too late to donate. I've got like, 17,000 and then some dollars still to raise.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

From left to right, that's Fred, Sophie, Joan and June. They were instructors in my leadership training at Landmark. Joan is my mentor and inspiration, even though I really disagree with that turtleneck she is wearing.

She used to call me one of the "Animal Girls". I believe I was head animal for registering so many people into this course. As a part of this training, I am actually aligned with the possibilty of transformation of life itself by the year 2020.

Joan is my hero. Joan used to tell us all the time, "the planet is burning!" In other words, Do the work. Deal with your junk. Get a bigger life and share your bigger life with others who could use one. And do it now. There is no tomorrow. Now is the only thing that is real. Get moving!

Joan once shared with a group of us that she created the possibility of being "Used Up and Loving It" as a way of Being in her life.

I love it. I am sooooo tired right now. I am used up and ready for bed....and yet, I have so so much still to do. I don't know how I'll meet my deadlines.

And that's my lie. Woe is me that I got super busy out of the blue. Sometimes, you just have to do the work. When I was in school, I would bury my face in bowls of ice and drink coffee and eat peanut m&ms and pull all-nighters as a regular practice to cram for exams after putting in a full day of work.

And now, I don't know how to meet my deadlines tomorrow?!

How about by being "used up and loving it" just like Joan.

You get what your heart desires. If you really desire it, you do whatever it takes to make it so.

I very much desire being someone as powerful as Joan (or Sophie). The night has only just begun. Quit the crying already, Silka! Break's over.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


I just called the White House and left a comment for the president! It was so easy. I actually felt like I made a difference. I called as a Darfur activist, to urge the president to make Darfur a priorty and Stop Genocide Now! It's a very different cause from Raising Malawi....or maybe not. Genocide. Poverty. Common denominator is that there is no human dignity in either, and that's really what I'm fighting for.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time. I'm just taking a short lunch to catch up on emails. In my haste, I evidently sent out a form letter w/o a proper intro to one said boyfriend who is waiting to hear back whether or not I will meet up with him for dinner tonight. He sent me the letter below in response to my letter, subject line "Horrendous Situation".

How long this dating thing will last between us is a good mystery. And why this makes me laugh, I will never know....


Dear friend,

As I write, a difficult and horrific situation is unfolding. A New York based man is awaiting a response from his girlfriend about getting together for dinner! The unspeakable pain and suffering that this upstanding person is being forced to endure violates several sections of the Geneva Convention and has been officially denounced by Amensty International.

Popular singer Bono has recently spoken out against this cruel behaviour. "I plan to use all my power and influence to bring an end to this insanity!" Angelina Jolie was recently heard to remark, "if she doesn't call him, maybe I will!"

I know, you're saying, "what can I, just one person really do to help end the humiliation and restore justice?". Well friend, you CAN do something!

Get on the phone. Call 917 214-3xxx and GIVE HIM YOUR ANSWER. It's that simple. We need you friend. Without you, and millions of girlfriends like you, this will be one miserable, sexless planet.

A charitable receipt in the amount of one foot rub will be issued upon verification of call.

Thank you friend.

--

All joking aside, I am going to the Darfur rally in Central Park this Sunday from 2-5. I may do some volunteer work -- media relations/passing out fliers. I intend to learn something that I can use for "Raising Malawi".

Let me know if you would like to go with me!
jsilka@yahoo.com

Friday, September 08, 2006

Go This Way
I see a career coach about once a month. His name is David and he is the bomb. He is highly trained to see through my junk and the things that stop me. He is wise and he is truly committed to my growth, so when he has something to say, I always invite him to lay it on me.

Sometimes it's not pretty.

Then again, sometimes reality occurs as an insult. That's the reality I'm most used to -- hard-hitting wake up calls on the top of the head. I asked him this past week for some perspective on my Raising Malawi project. I have a few pledges hanging out there that have not converted to donations. And it's awkward for me to follow up. I don't like it, I don't want to do it, and sometimes I really doubt my leadership skills.

Here's why I love David. He is soooo sooo straight (for a gay man, no less!) but he doesn't let me beat myself up. He did not deliver a major insult to my ego. Instead, he held me accountable to the bigger picture. And he offered that if I don't start to hold people to their word, then I am doing them and me a huge disservice.

I lived this conversation at Landmark. Integrity. It's about honoring your word as yourself. When something in life is not working or working as well as you'd like, you can bet that somewhere your integrity is out. Integrity goes out for all of us. When it does, the job is to restore it. My integrity is actually out when I do not collect and follow up on these pledges. I wonder, how committed I am to my word....Will I truly do whatever it takes to raise $25K by Christmas? Or am I really listening to that voice coming out of the little black spot in the back of my brain that says, come on! It was a big goal! You did your best...you raised a good chunk of change...don't be silly. You didn't have to do any of this.

And all that's true. But I said I would, as a matter of my word.

And then I have to ask, am I willing to sell out on others who offered to make a contribution to this project? Is their word somehow less important than mine? Can I possibly be someone of integrity when I am all but endorsing integrity breakdowns all around me.

A true leader would not avoid the uncomfortable bits. As the project leader, I am actually accountable to everyone I have invited to make a difference in Malawi. I am accountable to be the clearing for integrity and possibilty, and I can't do that when my own integrity is out.

And what is a leader, anyway? The best definition I've ever heard is that a leader is someone who causes others to be leaders. It's not necessarily the smartest guy in the room, or the one with all the good ideas. It's the one who causes others to find and experience their own contribution toward a bigger goal.

So, here I go again dealing with all this Virgo energy....I'm going to do the hard work this weekend. Follow up on a few pledges to see where they stand. Yuck! I hate it. I don't want to do this...boohoohoo....but I will because I refuse to sell out on myself or anyone because I didn't feel comfortable pushing through.

Bottomline, this is about transforming the experience of life for thousands of people in one village in Malawi. I can't lose sight of that.

I cleaned up a pretence and misperceptions today with an old friend. I had been intentionally keeping him out of my life for fear that he would judge me. And he definitely disapproves of some of my choices. I do not know if we will remain friends. But we are making that decision very authentically, which is so liberating.

I feel clear again. And healthy. I don't like to share myself, and I had to do a lot of it to come clean in this case. I would so much rather be stingy and not reveal where I struggle and where I am extremely weak. I actually hate it with all my guts, but I will continue to give people (not the gossipers and crappy people, but the good people) a peek under the kimono, if you will. I am vulnerable. I am unsure. I am intimidated and insecure....but like hell if I plan to stay that way forever.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

"Seeds of Change" CIO Magazine 8/15/06 Each year, CIO Magazine recognizes the top 100 IT Innovations for Growth. This year, Monsanto is among the honorees.

You may know Monsanto as the biotech giant with 90 herbicides that can be used to control virtually every economically significant weed. They're the makers of Round-Up. As that was going off patent, they branched out into the seeds and genetic traits business, which "comprises more than half of its $6.3 billion revenue and $255 million in profits in 2005" (CIO Mag. 8/15)

I remember the press opening fire on these guys some years back for ecological negligence ... like for developing genetically improved corn that's protected against insects (hence better crop yields), but consequently affects the wildlife.

When the potato bug won't eat the potato...there will be no potato bugs for potato-bug eating creatures to eat...

I remember my cousin Cheryl (who is an entomologist and is now a biology prof.) being pretty ticked off by bio-genetic engineering on behalf of the Monarch butterfly.

Anyway, Monsanto is being acknowledged in CIO Magazine for "creating software to identify genes that indicate a plant's resistance to drought, herbicides and pests -- those genetic traits used to predict which plants breeders should reproduce to yield the healthiest, most-bountiful crops."

"By pinpointing the best breeding stock, it increases breeders' odds of finding a commercially viable combination of genetic traits from one in a trillion to one in five. Monsanto's global breeding organization drove the project."

"Monsanto believes it can sell more corn, soybean and cotton seeds if farmers know its seeds will produce heartier crops and require fewer sprays of insecticide and herbicide, thus reducing costs."

This is the scary part: "Software developed by Monsanto is helping it breed genetically superior seeds that big commercial farmers are buying in droves."

I hope I'm not too naive about this, but I'm excited about the software program. You can't argue with the facts. It'll give us a quick, clear picture of what kind of seeds will grow. I think it's going to be up to us to use good judgment and do diligence to look at the total, global ecology of what will happen to the butterflies et al when we plant.

I can't help but wonder where the seeds will come from when we raise Malawi...and what kind of crops will really take off there.

Monday, September 04, 2006

I was watching the Chelsea Handler Show last week. In her opening monologue she said, "Don't you hate it when people send you invitations to read their blog?" I cringed. Sorry, Loreal (Laurie L). You are under no obligation to read everything. He're my blog cliff notes:

1. Feb. 2006 -- Girl searches for meaning of life (again). This time, she takes spotlight off herself. Alas, she sees something more interesting to focus on. She decides to raise $25K for charity.

2. Feb-May 2006 -- Girl searches for charity. Calls her dad. They agree to put on a party for abused women and under-privileged kids, like they did with the Red Cross when she was a kid.

Girl looks for project co-leader among her friends. Girl shares concept with many of them. They all say, "cool. let me know how I can help." Girl has no idea.

Girl needs an angle. Something people can get their arms around. Works up a project plan called, "Santa's Trail of Lights" with critical actions and milestones. Tries to find role for dad who lives in Atlanta. Creates this goal:

By 12/16/06, $25,000 in money and gifts will be given out at a Christmas party in Atlanta to 5-10 families with young children who have been displaced, injured, orphaned, etc. by hurricane Katrina.

Girl calls United Way and American Red Cross to help identify needy families. United Way guy is very positive. Thinks it's a great idea, but does not follow up or return girl's calls. Red Cross says they already met their goals to help Katrina victims in Atlanta. Now, with crime on the rise due to Katrina evacuees, they are more concerned about not being victimized by those who remain.

Red Cross encourages her to talk to local churches or other faith-based organizations who are always doing things like this for local families. Girl is frustrated and uninspired. Girl is not religious and does not want to go to churches for help.

Girl complains to her career coach that her leadership skills suck. Career coach says people are just not enrolled in her idea. He challenges her to better explain the concept. Why are you doing this?

Girl says she is doing this because everyone on the planet either ignored her or looked down on her when she was struggling to get educated. Ronald Reagan certainly ignored her when he cut financial aid, making her responsible for over $20K per year. That was not going to happen on minimum wage. So, she existed for years stupidly dressed in hand-me-down clothes, always sick and perpetually stressed out. She dropped out of college a few times to work fulltime to pay for upcoming semesters. Why raise money for charity today? So that the fighters, the ones who really want to be something and do something in the world can have the opportunity that she did not have.

June thru August 2006 -- Girl feels defeated, but will not stop. Pious, holier-roller thoughts begin to consume her. But, woe is her, she feels alone. And then.....girl sees pamphlet, "Raising Malawi" in Kabbalah center.

So, that's it Loreal. There is a lot of momentum behind this cause AND there is a real, feasible plan to make a difference AND I know that I can make a difference on a small potatoes scale.

I knew nothing about the poverty trap a few months ago. I spent a lifetime breaking out of the lower middle class (much credit goes to my parents for doing their part). Imagine trying to get out of poverty! I'm so fired up to think this is something that if we all put just one ioda of energy into, we can transform and radically alter the world. The very world our babies will grow up to live in. That is one sponge-worthy cause.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Tonight 9/3/06 on CNN at 8pm is a one-hour special, "The Poverty Trap -- A Conversation with President Clinton".

Since late 2004, Malawi has benefitted from access to the Clinton Foundation HIV/AIDs Initiative's (CHAI) reduced prices to life-saving ARV drugs and tests for pediatric patients (clintonfoundation.org)

This past July, Bill Clinton launched an anti-poverty initiative with Sir Tom Hunter, the Scottish entrepreneur ranked 548th richest person in the world by Forbes magazine.

The Clinton-Hunter Development Initiative (CHDI) has set aside an initial $100 million for projects in Malawi and Rwanda. The money will go into education, health, infrastructure, agriculture and entrepreneurial support. (Business.scotsman.com)

From Business.scotsman.com -- Sir Tom made an estimated £260 million when he sold the Sports Division shop chain in 1998 and now runs a venture capital firm that has been involved in deals worth £4 billion since it began in 2001.

Sir Tom, who donated £1 million to the Make Poverty History campaign and has spent more than £35 million through his and his wife's charity, the Hunter Foundation, appealed to others to join him and Mr Clinton in "a new model of poverty intervention in the world's poorest countries".

Sir Tom told The Scotsman he had decided to take action after becoming involved in the Make Poverty History campaign, but added: "The fundamental motivation is the way I was brought up in a small mining village in Ayrshire. You got taught values and to do the right thing."

"I'm on record as saying once my family has been taken care of the rest of the wealth is going into the foundation. Making the money is only half the equation. What you do with the money is what marks you out."

I like Sir Tom. I'm on record for the same thing.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

I got this update from Intelligence Group's TrendCentral Newsletter (9/1/06). Re: Good Magazine. It's good. I subscribed. It's not entirely treehugger, either. It covers business, politics, media, you name it.

I saw Jeffrey Sachs' name in this summary and alas, Millenium Promise is one of the 12 partners to which you can donate your subscription. Very cool.

GOOD: Aiming to promote social, political and environmental change by educating young people on world news and issues and empowering them to take action, GOOD is touted as a "cultural magazine for people who give a damn”. Highlights from the inaugural issue I HEART AMERICA, include a piece by James Surowiecki on America's place in the world, a guide to midterm elections, commentary by Jeff Sachs, Karrie Jacobs and Kurt Vonnegut, and an intriguing look at The Boarder Film Project.

Content aside, one of the publication’s best attributes is its Choose Good program, which allows subscribers to select an organization from the company’s non-profit partnership database to which they'd like their $20 subscription fee to be donated. Teach for America, UNICEF, Witness and Creative Commons are just three of the 12 partners