I took my folks parasailing when we were in Tampa for Thanksgiving. This is them doing that.

Midas, Money and Misty: How I Raised $101K in 2007

This is going to be a really big year for me, I know it. And I need it to be to hit my $101,000 goal for Malawi.

So, what is the plan?

Well, Chanukah is over now. I've done the spiritual work. My head is in a good place, and when it slips out of that place I know how to reconnect it pretty quickly. Now, I'm ready to play the game.

While driving in Toronto with David and his son Tyler on his way to his dad's (who is really very Scottish! He's Mike Meyers' father in "So, I Married an Ax Murderer" -- very lovable!) we talked about an idea I have for a new business. David is always telling me I should do something online. I've always thought so too. The concept is "The Perfect Gift".com -- a place to get ideas and gifts for those occasions when you don't really know what to give and/or really want to make it special. More on that later. This is my money blog entry.

So, the seed of my business idea is to earmark at least 10% of my 2007 profits to Raising Malawi. That means I need to make about a million dollars -- $750K to be exact since we're not starting at zero. So that's what I'll do.

I've studied archetypes for years. I am very lucky that one of my archetypes happens to be Midas. I've had it since I was 14. Exactly like Midas, I have a special touch when it comes to manifesting money. Note: the shadow side of Midas is Miser. It's a real duality. My friends give me grief when I am late to meet them because I took the bus versus a cab. I often forget that I have money. Like David always tells me, you can take the girl out of Chicago, but you can't take the Little Matchstick out of the Girl. ;)

Anyway, when I was 14, my dog Misty got Leukemia. The picture above is of me and my brother David with Misty, an Airedale Terrier. We dressed her up in our night clothes this particular night when it was bedtime. We loved her. We got her when I was four years old. She was part of our family.

Out of nowhere, Misty started moving slow. She was dragging her tail on walks and otherwise behaving like a lazy dog. My parents took her to the vet and told me that Misty was going to die. She needed her spleen removed, but we didn't have the money for the surgery. I decided in that moment that not only would Misty have her surgery, I would always have money. I decided right then and there that I would be the clearing for money to show up when I needed it. And then I'd work my tail off to get it: shoveling driveways, babysitting, second jobs bussing tables or making milk shakes. Nothing has ever been handed to me. I've always busted my butt, which is why I have no guilt and am very free around money. And now money comes freely to me. And yes, Misty had her operation and lived a while longer. Long enough for me to painfully accept that it was indeed her time to go.

Since then, I've always found money when I needed it. I found money for college -- mine and a chunk for my ex-husband. A huge wedding. Three properties. Cars. Grad school. International vacations. Whatever my heart desired.

I share this not to brag. But to provide something. Money -- when it moves to, through and from you -- is just energy. Be miserly with it, and you won't have a lot of it. Share it or let a lot of it move through you for the right reasons -- to grow your vessel and become a being of sharing -- well, you get bigger and the Light says, woah! There's a lot of money moving through that person and she's bringing more Light into the world! I better keep her stocked.

At the same time, people can be very stupid with their money. They're gamblers and dreamers. Money doesn't come (or doesn't stay with you) when you are blocked around money. Like when you operate from a context of scarity or worse, money for nothing. "It'll just rain from the sky and fall in my lap forever." Well, good luck with that!

I know I'm sounding preachy, but it's because I have something to say on this topic. Actually, I have a LOT more to say on this topic, but I'll hold off till next year when I can make my point better through a successful business.

If you're interested, this is a good clip about the wisdom of kabbalah and the point of my studies. It's not about money, per se. But it is. It's about context. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

And I hope you'll join me in a money conversation in your own life. I'm not referring to Raising Malawi. That's not for everyone. But, there is something in your life I'm sure that you'd like to have money for. If that's the case, I invite you to play a big money game this year. Come on......snake eyes!

Cape Town Sunday Times, Business Times, March 19, 1995

Hey Donna! I love that you check in on my blog and leave comments! The blogosphere is so lonely at times. So, I dedicate this entry to you :)

Donna was one of my roommates in grad school at Northwestern. That's her pictured on the far right. There's me, third in from the left. We went to South Africa together in 1995 for one of our elective courses with Kellogg, "Global Initiatives in Management". Part of our coursework -- since we were with Medill, Integrated Marketing Communications -- was to get some PR for the NU South Africa initiative.

So we wrote a press release and made some calls when we were in-country. Naturally, we worked it so that only a handful of the Kellogg students would know when the media folks were coming. This way, Donna and I could get in all the pictures. Ha! It actually wasn't quite so calculated, but luck seemed to follow us around. Oop! Here we are again! ;)


This was my first and last trip to Africa. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited. I remember watching a whale out in the distance in Cape Town, where the Atlantic meets the Pacific. Donna took this picture of me there --



Yesterday, Oprah aired her visit to South Africa which she themed, "Christmas Kindness." Terrible name, but good show. I think it was filmed in 2005. She says that going to South Africa -- visiting orphans and passing out gifts to the kids -- was the best day of her life. All the girls got little Black babydolls. All the boys got soccer balls. And then some other stuff.

At one point during one of the parties, Oprah was crying uncontrollably...actually gasping. It was because it gave her so much joy to provide for these truly needy, truly grateful children. She said she actually had a joy headache.

Still, I know there is latent sadness under all the joy. Because a doll and/or a soccer ball could never be enough. These children are orphaned, fending for themselves. Going without food and clothes. Two little girls came home to find drunk men in their beds. I can think of no worse hell. Actually, I've lived that scenario myself. Er... a lot. So, as an expert I can say that it's disgusting and offensive. How can you feel safe? At least I'm an adult. I can generally fend for myself.

I have some great pictures of the kids we met in Soweto (south west township....very poor area) in 1995....but I must've put them in storage. I'll upload a few shots when I get them back.

Anyway, once you've been there, once you've seen for yourself all the majesty juxtiposed with so much struggle...you can't help be be affected. And me? I can't unsee and unknow...although I forgot for a long long time. I guess there's no real way any of us can be free if we avoid responsibility for the basic human dignity of our fellow man. We're really all one soul. It's so easy to forget or ignore or avoid that. But I really believe it. We have a moral obligation to each other at the level of human dignity. Beyond that I think it's optional.

So, I'm calling down a miracle this year. I request/create/desire that this be a BIG BIG year for me. May I seriously expand my wealth so that I can really make a difference for the forgotten children of the world.

Hold tight, Sir Bono. I'm right behind you, baby!

I’m at LaGuardia. David got me a ticket to Toronto to meet the parents. My mom advised me to smile a lot because I have good teeth. I hope that’s enough because I’m not great in new social situations. I am dressed to kill, however. And I mean that literally. I look a little like Johnny Cash. Plus, I did my eyebrows up with the new Anastasia kit from Sephora. Anastasia does Oprah’s eyebrows. Her kits are a fortune, but really worth it. It’s like I have a new face. I hope the “in-laws” will like it.

I met with my career coach David Dowd yesterday. He was so great. I’ve been struggling with my ego lately at home and at work. I am surrounded by egomaniacs, so I want to either a) run away from it all or b) bomb everyone to bits. If you’re the FBI, I don’t mean that literally. It’s just that I have a lot of frustration – anger/rage -- inside of me that doesn’t know how to fight other people’s egos without bringing my own to the surface.

David Dowd pointed out that my ego is revving in full gear right now. We’re going through a re-org at work and I’m operating in survival mode. I want to see myself as separate from all the egomaniacs around me. And "separateness" causes me to want to defend my turf (not that anyone is trying to annex it. Just feels like people are trespassing a lot lately). But, alas, turf wars are nothing more than egos running the show from survival mode. I need to put down my weapons. And it’s tough.

We also distinguished that my ego is an expert at morphing. Morphing so I can’t find her! It’s like the entry I wrote over Thanksgiving. That face of “nice.” Of course, that was before these new rockin’ eyebrows. But I digress.

The ego (desire for self alone) lives off of intensity and duality. It needs drama for intensity. The resulting experience is a placebo for the authentic self. Basically, drama provides a nice distraction from having to deal with yourself.

So, who is “self”? Who are you? Well, you're not your past. Not your future. Not your thoughts. Not your emotions. Not your body. Not your health. So who?

Who YOU are is the choosing. Strip away everything else, and you’ll see that who YOU are lives at the impulse, that beat of the 'Now' ... that choice between feeding your ego or feeding your authentic self.

That’s why alcoholics especially have to focus on taking it one day at a time. Because we’re hardwired to want to just “fix” it. And then we say “Done. It’s fixed. No more addiction. No more problem.” That gives us the very comforting illusion of being in control. But life is not a series of problems to be fixed. We convince ourselves that there’s something wrong that we can fix, and then our egos have us by the balls. That’s the mind game. And it’s hard to win it because the ego is so clever.

In the war against my own ego, I lose as often as I win.

David (my coach) offered up a good strategy: Give up being who you were. It’s not real anyway. You are not what you know, what you have, what you do. It's so true. I meet so many uninspiring people who think that those things are who they are. And it's all they talk about. They are extremely boring to be around.

The healthier focus is to turn your attention on who you are becoming. And while you're at it, notice who the person across from you is becoming in your presence. That’s an authentic life, and an exciting life to live.

My coach and I do a lot of work on the various tenets of freedom, one of which is to “Face everything. Avoid nothing.” I positively suck at that tenet.

It means dealing with your own truth...a lot of which I haven’t wanted to touch because it seems so inconsistent with the world around me. But, that’s no way to live, so I foresee lots of changes in the year ahead. Or, maybe the only change will be me. I dunno. I’m not setting out to fix anything anymore....intentionally anyway. I choose to live my truth....or at least be more aware of it.

Oh, cool! Bono is being knighted in Dublin for all the work he’s doing on Aids in Africa. They say you can’t call him sir because he’s not a British citizen. I will anyway. That’s a great honor, Sir Bono! You so literally rock.


Ok, so I should probably go to the gate now and see if it’s time to board.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good flight!

I have some ideas swirling around for my next fundraisers:

1. A NYC benefit show -- mini skits/improv/comedy. $15-20 admission. My friend Kasha is connected to lots of performers (i know some too from my improv class). Kasha knows the ins and outs about booking venues in the city and pulling this sort of thing off, so she promises to be an awesome resource. I'm thinking spring 2007.

2. A pay-it-forward video. This idea is inspired by my friend Donna from grad school. I'm going to go to Malawi early next year to document what we're doing there as well as the impact of our contribution on the people in this village.

The fundraiser concept is to burn several DVDs of this short documentary (with 'thank yous' to some of the donors by name!)....give it to a handful of those who have already donated and ask them to pay it forward within their social network. It's like a chain letter. You're asked to watch video, make donation (optional) and hand it off to someone else. I'll be the first and last person on the list so I can track how well each video does to raise add'l funds for the cause. This is also timed for late spring/early summer, as I have to get to Malawi first.


3. A charity day at the Neverland Ranch. I was in London yesterday (I'm in Frankfurt now). David met me for the London portion of my world travels....We went to see Madame Toussaud's wax museum. It was actually kind of a bust. There's a good Angelina Jolie wax likeness, but Brad looks like a melting monkey. There was also a bad waxed Michael Jackson. It sparked an idea, though -- MJ loves children. He's all about "healing the world." (it's one of his videos). And he has that cool theme park....so, what can it hurt to write him a letter? I'm going to do that in two weeks during Chanukah -- when the energy of miracles is all around!

Keep on with the force, don't stop.
Don't stop till you get enough (click here).
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough

This is Bokang Rakabaele. He lives in Sub-Saharan Africa. He is 8. That's him on the left this past May. He has AIDs, tuberculosis and pneumonia. (Time Magazine, Dec. 4, 2006)

The photo on the right is him today, just 6 mos later. What changed? He got medicine -- he takes antiretroviral drugs (ARV) twice a day for the treatment of HIV. Without treatment, nearly a third of HIV-positive infants die by their first birthday, and half die by age 2.

My nephew Luke is 7. I hadn't seen him in almost a year! The whole family (and my David) went to Tampa this year to spend the week on the beach together for Thanksgiving. When my sister-in-law Nancy asked him if he would remember what I looked like, he said, "Yes. Aunt Julia has same color hair as yours, mama. And a laptop."

I love my little Luke. He said grace for us before turkey. It went something like, "Bless us oh Lord, for this food, which we are about to deserve...."

Ha!

Makes you think, though. Does anyone deserve food? Or, better asked, doesn't everyone deserve food? On the last night there, Luke and my dad got to talking about Christmas. My dad was telling him that Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice....so, you have to be nice if you want gifts.

Luke was contemplative a moment. Then he asked, "Papa? How many times can you be naughty?"

I live in New York, so I don't get to hang out with the little ones all that much, but when I do, I cherish it. Luke is healthy and happy; naughty or nice, he's a good kid who deserves to be a kid.

So does this little boy in Africa. And this year he got it. He lives in Lesotho, home to one of several pediatric centers of excellence for AIDS. (Four have opened--in Botswana, Lesotho, Malawi and Swaziland. Four more are in planning stages)

His Santa Clauses were:*

1)The President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief
-- allocated $63 million this year for the treatment of pediatric AIDS
2 The Clinton Foundation
-- negotiated a 50% reduction in the price of a key medication.
3)A handful of nonprofit organizations, corporations and faith-based groups began sending more doctors to the developing world to help plug some of the health-care gaps for children.

What happens next in Lesotho and the rest of sub-Saharan Africa depends a lot on how broadly these first efforts expand. All the ARVs in the world aren't going to help much if children and their families don't have enough food to build up their strength or clean water to keep from picking up infections. Tough as it has been to focus attention on children with AIDS, it has been harder for clinics to get and use a common antibiotic to prevent pneumonia and other ills in HIV-positive children who don't yet need ARVs. "One of the biggest obstacles in treating children has been having a consistent guardian," says Dr. Martha Sommers, head of clinical services at Embangweni Hospital, a church-run facility in rural Malawi. "Often the guardian is sick or dying, or the children are orphans and getting passed from one guardian to the next." (Time Magazine, Dec. 4, 2006)

I am very happy and proud to be part of a global push to help children get to be children. All children deserve to be children.

As the Time article so aptly concluded -- there will always be more to do, but at long last the work has begun.

WE ARE RAISING MALAWI!

Namitete, Malawi – Construction on the new Consol Homes Raising Malawi Orphan Care Center is underway! We broke ground in October and expect the new center to be open by or before March 1, 2007!

The new child care facility will serve thousands of orphans and vulnerable children from various villages in and around the Malawian district of Lilongwe.

The new Orphan Care center will be managed by Consol Homes, a secular non-governmental, non-profit, community-based organization currently serving approximately 12,500 children.

Consol Homes is well known for the creation of the Orphan Affairs Unit, a unique psycho-social program (endorsed and promoted by UNICEF) for orphan children whereby orphans lead, manage and implement programs for other orphans.

(Orphans helping orphans. Don't you just want to cry?!)

The new facility will provide food, education, psycho social programs, vocational skills training and other important programs to countless children and families in the area.

It's Sunday 11/19 -- Thanksgiving holiday madness at JFK. I was supposed to be on the 8:10am flight to Tampa. I am instead eating a Boston Creme and chocolate glazed donut in the boarding area, killing a few hours before my next standby flight.

So, what does any of this have to do with Raising Malawi? Everything.

I'm going to be on the road for the next month for work and play, and not coming home in between. From Tampa I'm going to London. Then Frankfurt, Paris, Moscow and finally Tokyo. I packed a bathing suit and a winter coat in my carry-on. There is really no good way to prepare for this trip. But I know I will be dipped into exciting, new experiences. New breakdowns. New breakthroughs. And I am very clear that before I can have a breakthrough in Raising Malawi, I have got to raise my own consciousness. I've been tested twice today, already.

TEST #1 (Kink in the plans)

I arrived an hour and 15 mins. before my flight. Obviously, that wasn't sufficient. I missed my flight by about three minutes. I am sitting here now reflecting on all the emotions and anxiety I went thru in the long and winding security line and in the race down the terminal until I received official word, "The flight is closed."

Reflecting now on my consciousness, I am quick to compare myself to David -- who tends to be a hothead in these situations. I've heard him be snippy or condescending with people, as if somehow his problem is their fault. Sometimes it is, but what does it ever help to say so? I say this actually not to pick on David so much as to thank him for being in my life so I can see my own junk. Cuz, until this morning, I somehow believed I was better than all that.

But nope. I do the very same thing, only I internalize it. AND, the more I think about it, in some ways, his transformational shortcomings are actually more evolved than mine. Why? Because he's more of a creator in his life. Although yelling, "Out of my way, you bastards!" isn't exactly a positive quality, he does usually get his way, casualties aside.

Me? I don't get my way, and then I stew in it. You will live....but me. I'll stew or, like I did today, over dramatize my lack of disappointment. "Oh, no worries. This is great. There's another flight in a couple hours....." But inside, I'm hopping mad or just flat out disappointed. I'm a victim.

Insight
I slip out of the role of "creator" when I believe there are forces at play that are bigger than me, which is often. But what if all that is an illusion? What if I am always the creator, even when the situation suggests otherwise?

In this moment, I'm not at the design of my life. I'm living at the effect of it; the effect of someone else's design. As I sit here typing on my laptop, I'm not upset or mad. I'm actually in a positive mood. But I'm placated. Thank god for wireless hotspots in airports. It's keeping me preoccupied. But am I really living right now? Not really. I'm placated. Like a baby with a pacifier.

And I know the drill. I've gotta let go...take 100% responsibility for the here and now... It's scary. It doesn't sound scary.....but when you really look around and really think about it...Yikes! It all starts to look different when I consider that I created this experience exactly as it is. This is my doing. This is my creation. (What was I thinking?!)

TEST #2 (Misplaced Desire)

No room on the 10:45am flight. I have to standby now till 12:55p. There were actually 3 of us staring at the attendant at the gate --wanting, waiting, yearning in silence to hear the words, "you can go ahead and board."

My consciousness then? I had a fleeting wish that there only be one seat not two, which I would surely get because they were traveling together. But, in the end none of us got on.

So, I sat down to play on my computer again. And I'm sitting here thinking, "Why is that fat woman with the bad haircut hogging the power outlet for her cheap-ass cell phone? She doesn't deserve it." Implying, clearly I do.

Here's what I am learning.

Insight
There she is again, right inside me -- Desire for self alone. Nasty little bitch, ain't she.

I am "evolved" -- enlightened, at peace and happy when things go my way. But when they don't.... well. Like my mom used to say, "When she was good she was very very good. But when she was bad she was horrid." I think that's a terrible thing to tell your daughter by the way, but it stuck with me. So here I am. Horrid.

How the hell am I going to raise a nickel from people who are as self-absorbed and horrid as I am right now? I don't care about people around me. My laptop is way more important to me than that lady's stupid cell phone (or if I'm really honest, even the lady herself). And I don't like her husband either...why? i dunno. Maybe because he's with her.

So, as long as I hold myself "better than" I will keep myself "separate from" and continue on the wheel of life....spinning around and around on the axis of "me" and never make a difference in the world.

I hope today's incidents were big enough sticks to jam in the spokes and get me off the Me-Myself-and-I ride once and for all.

This is Michael Berg, who is co-creator of the Raising Malawi project. I adore him. He's the one I spoke with two weeks ago when Madonna was in town. He's pictured here with the Dalai Lama, whom I've loved and respected since I was little. Years ago, I saw an interview with him on 60 minutes when he was in exile after China annexed Tibet. He is so wise and adorable. I read some of his books. They're great -- so authentic! One of my all time favorite books is "Seven Years in Tibet." It's by Heinrick Harrer, but stars our boy the Dalai Lama when he was growing up. I couldn't make it thru the Brad Pitt movie of the same name -- too slow. Or maybe I was too tired. I should try again. But the book is awesome!

I went to the Beacon Theater a few years ago to hear the Dalai Lama speak. He walked in the room and the room shifted. His energy was positively palpable. Buddhist wisdom is very much about everything/nothing reality. It felt a lot like Landmark! at least as much as I understood it. Richard Gere was up there on the stage next to him.

I also bumped into one of the creative directors I was working with on the Dairy Queen account at the time. We were both sort of shocked to see each other, but agreed that it was better there than in a strip club or something.

Anyway, in his newletter, Michael Berg writes:

"Recently in New York I had the privilege to attend an intimate gathering held in honor of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The burning question in my mind was, “What is the primary spiritual goal that Buddhists have and how is it similar to Kabbalah?”

At some point, I began talking to Professor Robert Thurman, a leading Buddhist scholar and author. He is a very straightforward man, and he told me there is only one thing a true Buddhist knows:

Our purpose in this world is to remove our ego – our selfish desire – and to transform it into a desire to serve others.

I shared with him that this is precisely what Kabbalah teaches -- transforming the Desire To Receive for the Self Alone into the Desire To Receive in Order To Share.

Our singular purpose is the same. We also spoke about the challenge of teaching this concept in a way that not only resonates with people but also adheres to their lifestyle.

Professor Thurman shared something that the Dalai Lama had once said to him:

“Most of the Buddhists I know have failed in their work.”

This struck a chord within me for it is something my father and teacher Rav Berg has been telling me my entire life. Everything we do of a spiritual nature must be motivated by the intention of transforming our ego. As long as this focus is not clear, we have also, to a certain degree, failed.

Personally, this is a teaching I struggle with every day of my life. The battle to transform my own ego-centric nature is one I wake up to every morning, and it requires constant vigilance."

--
I see it. I'm covered in it.

While I'm better in dealing with my ego nature compared to say the likes of my boyfriend David Duncan -- we decided to get back together btw, despite his gi-normous ego -- am I really better?

Well....the answer to that is yes. Yes I am better.

I'm joking.

I guess.

I got invited to a cool black tie event last night for the Ad Council awards. I sat with some of the senior management folks at Ogilvy--Carla H., Bill G. and others. It was so eye opening for me. These are not only real people, they are really good people. I truly like and respect them. Carla reminded me of my best friend Laurie in Chicago.

She talked about Ogilvy like a family. She comes from a family of 14! Honestly, it's so much what I want (a family) that I'm terrified of it. I rebel against it. I wonder if I put my fists down for one second if I'd actually let it sink in that I'm at a really cool place?

I dunno. If I can find a reason to hang out with the Carlas and Bills and Andys more, well yes. But.....I'm not hanging out with them now. And I'm frustrated. And, I have a big fat ego that I don't know what to do with. Carla didn't seem to really have one. And it was nice. Her presence was nice. She inspired me; if that's what leadership looks like, I'm game.

Lidl baby want kaba-bah? How cute is he, all protected from the evil eye?!

I sat right behind Madonna this weekend at shabbot service. You know what was most eye-opening for me? That there was all this paparazzi outside, but inside, not so many of us. Like a small wedding. That's kind of sad in a way -- to be so huge the world -- well, the 1% reality of the world, and have the other 99% of what matters to you not matter all that much to the rest of your circle.

I liked having Madonna there. We all respected her space, which is a little hard because the whole time you're thinking, "woah, i'm sitting right next to Madonna." But that's not why we're all there, so....you just have to work extra hard to focus.

I met Michael Berg and chatted with him briefly about Raising Malawi. He's the co-founder of the charity with Madonna. I just LOVE this man and his energy. I'm so honored to be in his/their company. My plan is to keep kicking my own ass to stretch myself so that I earn the merit to hang with them more.