Barbie Cake Face Plant (for Orphans)

Yesterday was Minnie's birthday. A few of us from work came out to celebrate with her. Above from left to right is Renee, Me, Minnie and Evelyn.

Minnie left us to greet her other guests. The rest of us were standing around admiring this beautifully decorated doll cake. One of her guests made it herself with extraordinary attention to each and every icing scallop.

JR (Minnie's brother) turns to me and asks me to name my price to take a huge bite out of it.

Ed, Evelyn's date (and fellow Chicago south-sider), suggests I dive on it and start throwing wild arm punches into it.

I am actually willing to do both, provided the price is right. I say, "$500."

JR looks at me, slowly processing our exchange and tentatively repeats, "five-hundred?"

Renee jumps in, "she'll do it for $400!"

I shoot Renee the evil eye and say, "I'll do it for $500 for charity."

JR asks, "which charity?"

Renee and I say simultaneously, "Raising Malawi."

JR says, "Done."

So now I'm super happy about the donation but also very aware that I am about to throw my face into a stranger's beautiful buttercream Barbie centerpiece.

Renee takes my camera and starts to videotape. Listen to her egging me on! "Do it, Julia! Just do it!" And then JR comes by to let me know the time has come. It's now or never. BTW, look at the beginning of this clip - Ed swinging his arms like a madman. Thank God he wasn't the one ponying up!

It had to be done. Here it is:





Here's me and JR immediately after my cake dive. I'm glad it's blurry. I'm pretty sure I still had frosting up my nose.

As soon as JR completes his end of the bargain (he promises he will), the new total raised to date will be:

$48,272.68 + 500.00 + $48,772.68.

Thank you, JR! Disturbed as you are, you're a good guy. I haven't laughed like that in a long time.

And word to the wise, never dare a Polack from the South Side of Chicago.