If you were an Angel, who would you be?

Let me help. Imagine if all you were was a head. And someone had to feed you. Care for you. Comb you.

What qualities would you want to project? Probably needless to say, I always aspired to be Kate Jackson's, Sabrina.

I didn't really have any role models growing up. My mom I guess. But she scared me a little. You get within two feet of her and she would find a reason to wipe your face with the stink rag from the sink. Naturally, I avoided her.

My mom was also a Type A, gotta-break-outta-poverty-and-make-it-big type character. And she was sorta crazy. I try not to tell stories about her because she is still very much alive and still reads my blog on occasion, so I know for sure she'll get mad (which I'm OK with), but she'll tell my dad and he'll have to call me to smooth things out between us, and I just hate to have to put my poor dad in that role for the rest of his life. But it is what it is.

I wonder if she would let me write my memoir. An honorable, truthful memoir. It'd be on caliber with something Augusten Burrows would write. I'll bet she'd let me if I gave her a big cut. Come on, Leona. What do you say? All proceeds (minus your cut) would go to Raising Malawi. Think about it. You could re-wallpaper the whole house.

Meantime, I am writing a piece about my lovely wedding, short marriage to my highschool sweetheart, Scott. It's for my next fundraiser at the PIT in two months. Invites to follow shortly.