WE ARE RAISING MALAWI!

Namitete, Malawi – Construction on the new Consol Homes Raising Malawi Orphan Care Center is underway! We broke ground in October and expect the new center to be open by or before March 1, 2007!

The new child care facility will serve thousands of orphans and vulnerable children from various villages in and around the Malawian district of Lilongwe.

The new Orphan Care center will be managed by Consol Homes, a secular non-governmental, non-profit, community-based organization currently serving approximately 12,500 children.

Consol Homes is well known for the creation of the Orphan Affairs Unit, a unique psycho-social program (endorsed and promoted by UNICEF) for orphan children whereby orphans lead, manage and implement programs for other orphans.

(Orphans helping orphans. Don't you just want to cry?!)

The new facility will provide food, education, psycho social programs, vocational skills training and other important programs to countless children and families in the area.

It's Sunday 11/19 -- Thanksgiving holiday madness at JFK. I was supposed to be on the 8:10am flight to Tampa. I am instead eating a Boston Creme and chocolate glazed donut in the boarding area, killing a few hours before my next standby flight.

So, what does any of this have to do with Raising Malawi? Everything.

I'm going to be on the road for the next month for work and play, and not coming home in between. From Tampa I'm going to London. Then Frankfurt, Paris, Moscow and finally Tokyo. I packed a bathing suit and a winter coat in my carry-on. There is really no good way to prepare for this trip. But I know I will be dipped into exciting, new experiences. New breakdowns. New breakthroughs. And I am very clear that before I can have a breakthrough in Raising Malawi, I have got to raise my own consciousness. I've been tested twice today, already.

TEST #1 (Kink in the plans)

I arrived an hour and 15 mins. before my flight. Obviously, that wasn't sufficient. I missed my flight by about three minutes. I am sitting here now reflecting on all the emotions and anxiety I went thru in the long and winding security line and in the race down the terminal until I received official word, "The flight is closed."

Reflecting now on my consciousness, I am quick to compare myself to David -- who tends to be a hothead in these situations. I've heard him be snippy or condescending with people, as if somehow his problem is their fault. Sometimes it is, but what does it ever help to say so? I say this actually not to pick on David so much as to thank him for being in my life so I can see my own junk. Cuz, until this morning, I somehow believed I was better than all that.

But nope. I do the very same thing, only I internalize it. AND, the more I think about it, in some ways, his transformational shortcomings are actually more evolved than mine. Why? Because he's more of a creator in his life. Although yelling, "Out of my way, you bastards!" isn't exactly a positive quality, he does usually get his way, casualties aside.

Me? I don't get my way, and then I stew in it. You will live....but me. I'll stew or, like I did today, over dramatize my lack of disappointment. "Oh, no worries. This is great. There's another flight in a couple hours....." But inside, I'm hopping mad or just flat out disappointed. I'm a victim.

Insight
I slip out of the role of "creator" when I believe there are forces at play that are bigger than me, which is often. But what if all that is an illusion? What if I am always the creator, even when the situation suggests otherwise?

In this moment, I'm not at the design of my life. I'm living at the effect of it; the effect of someone else's design. As I sit here typing on my laptop, I'm not upset or mad. I'm actually in a positive mood. But I'm placated. Thank god for wireless hotspots in airports. It's keeping me preoccupied. But am I really living right now? Not really. I'm placated. Like a baby with a pacifier.

And I know the drill. I've gotta let go...take 100% responsibility for the here and now... It's scary. It doesn't sound scary.....but when you really look around and really think about it...Yikes! It all starts to look different when I consider that I created this experience exactly as it is. This is my doing. This is my creation. (What was I thinking?!)

TEST #2 (Misplaced Desire)

No room on the 10:45am flight. I have to standby now till 12:55p. There were actually 3 of us staring at the attendant at the gate --wanting, waiting, yearning in silence to hear the words, "you can go ahead and board."

My consciousness then? I had a fleeting wish that there only be one seat not two, which I would surely get because they were traveling together. But, in the end none of us got on.

So, I sat down to play on my computer again. And I'm sitting here thinking, "Why is that fat woman with the bad haircut hogging the power outlet for her cheap-ass cell phone? She doesn't deserve it." Implying, clearly I do.

Here's what I am learning.

Insight
There she is again, right inside me -- Desire for self alone. Nasty little bitch, ain't she.

I am "evolved" -- enlightened, at peace and happy when things go my way. But when they don't.... well. Like my mom used to say, "When she was good she was very very good. But when she was bad she was horrid." I think that's a terrible thing to tell your daughter by the way, but it stuck with me. So here I am. Horrid.

How the hell am I going to raise a nickel from people who are as self-absorbed and horrid as I am right now? I don't care about people around me. My laptop is way more important to me than that lady's stupid cell phone (or if I'm really honest, even the lady herself). And I don't like her husband either...why? i dunno. Maybe because he's with her.

So, as long as I hold myself "better than" I will keep myself "separate from" and continue on the wheel of life....spinning around and around on the axis of "me" and never make a difference in the world.

I hope today's incidents were big enough sticks to jam in the spokes and get me off the Me-Myself-and-I ride once and for all.

This is Michael Berg, who is co-creator of the Raising Malawi project. I adore him. He's the one I spoke with two weeks ago when Madonna was in town. He's pictured here with the Dalai Lama, whom I've loved and respected since I was little. Years ago, I saw an interview with him on 60 minutes when he was in exile after China annexed Tibet. He is so wise and adorable. I read some of his books. They're great -- so authentic! One of my all time favorite books is "Seven Years in Tibet." It's by Heinrick Harrer, but stars our boy the Dalai Lama when he was growing up. I couldn't make it thru the Brad Pitt movie of the same name -- too slow. Or maybe I was too tired. I should try again. But the book is awesome!

I went to the Beacon Theater a few years ago to hear the Dalai Lama speak. He walked in the room and the room shifted. His energy was positively palpable. Buddhist wisdom is very much about everything/nothing reality. It felt a lot like Landmark! at least as much as I understood it. Richard Gere was up there on the stage next to him.

I also bumped into one of the creative directors I was working with on the Dairy Queen account at the time. We were both sort of shocked to see each other, but agreed that it was better there than in a strip club or something.

Anyway, in his newletter, Michael Berg writes:

"Recently in New York I had the privilege to attend an intimate gathering held in honor of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The burning question in my mind was, “What is the primary spiritual goal that Buddhists have and how is it similar to Kabbalah?”

At some point, I began talking to Professor Robert Thurman, a leading Buddhist scholar and author. He is a very straightforward man, and he told me there is only one thing a true Buddhist knows:

Our purpose in this world is to remove our ego – our selfish desire – and to transform it into a desire to serve others.

I shared with him that this is precisely what Kabbalah teaches -- transforming the Desire To Receive for the Self Alone into the Desire To Receive in Order To Share.

Our singular purpose is the same. We also spoke about the challenge of teaching this concept in a way that not only resonates with people but also adheres to their lifestyle.

Professor Thurman shared something that the Dalai Lama had once said to him:

“Most of the Buddhists I know have failed in their work.”

This struck a chord within me for it is something my father and teacher Rav Berg has been telling me my entire life. Everything we do of a spiritual nature must be motivated by the intention of transforming our ego. As long as this focus is not clear, we have also, to a certain degree, failed.

Personally, this is a teaching I struggle with every day of my life. The battle to transform my own ego-centric nature is one I wake up to every morning, and it requires constant vigilance."

--
I see it. I'm covered in it.

While I'm better in dealing with my ego nature compared to say the likes of my boyfriend David Duncan -- we decided to get back together btw, despite his gi-normous ego -- am I really better?

Well....the answer to that is yes. Yes I am better.

I'm joking.

I guess.

I got invited to a cool black tie event last night for the Ad Council awards. I sat with some of the senior management folks at Ogilvy--Carla H., Bill G. and others. It was so eye opening for me. These are not only real people, they are really good people. I truly like and respect them. Carla reminded me of my best friend Laurie in Chicago.

She talked about Ogilvy like a family. She comes from a family of 14! Honestly, it's so much what I want (a family) that I'm terrified of it. I rebel against it. I wonder if I put my fists down for one second if I'd actually let it sink in that I'm at a really cool place?

I dunno. If I can find a reason to hang out with the Carlas and Bills and Andys more, well yes. But.....I'm not hanging out with them now. And I'm frustrated. And, I have a big fat ego that I don't know what to do with. Carla didn't seem to really have one. And it was nice. Her presence was nice. She inspired me; if that's what leadership looks like, I'm game.

Lidl baby want kaba-bah? How cute is he, all protected from the evil eye?!

I sat right behind Madonna this weekend at shabbot service. You know what was most eye-opening for me? That there was all this paparazzi outside, but inside, not so many of us. Like a small wedding. That's kind of sad in a way -- to be so huge the world -- well, the 1% reality of the world, and have the other 99% of what matters to you not matter all that much to the rest of your circle.

I liked having Madonna there. We all respected her space, which is a little hard because the whole time you're thinking, "woah, i'm sitting right next to Madonna." But that's not why we're all there, so....you just have to work extra hard to focus.

I met Michael Berg and chatted with him briefly about Raising Malawi. He's the co-founder of the charity with Madonna. I just LOVE this man and his energy. I'm so honored to be in his/their company. My plan is to keep kicking my own ass to stretch myself so that I earn the merit to hang with them more.