My 2007 New Year's Resolutions (Restrictions)

Anyone who knows me knows I am a goal fanatic. Every January 29th I make a birthday video and set measurable goals. Run a marathon. Host a party. Get PADI (diving) certification. Whatever. Raising $101K for Malawi and volunteering in Africa will be part of my birthday goals for 2007.

New Years goals are a little different for me. My New Year's Resolutions are more like New Year's Restrictions. According to Kabbalah, restriction is critical to generating Light. Literally think of it like a lightbulb. The filament between the positive and negative charge restricts the flow of energy. The stronger the restriction, the brighter the Light.

I don't always set New Year's restrictions, but when I do, look out! They're actually the easiest kind of resolutions for me to keep because restrictions are entirely within my control. For example:

1. January 1, 1991. No meat.
I became a vegetarian 16 years ago as a New Year's resolution. Actually, I'm a "veg-aquarian" because I still eat fish. I sometimes forget it was ever a resolution because now it's a lifestyle.

2. January 1, 1992, 1993 and 1994. No chocolate.
My grandma was a smoker. It bugged me that she was smoking herself to death, not to mention that when I lived with her in the late 80s and later when I'd visit, I couldn't escape smelling like an ashtray.

I pushed her buttons one day when I insisted that she "just quit already!" She snapped back, "You have no idea. You've never been addicted to anything!" I had to put my money where my mouth was. Then it hit me. At the time I was having two or three chocolate bars a day. (It's true!) So, to test my own strength around addiction, I gave up chocolate. It was very tough at first, but I got used to it. In 1995, I decided not renew my annual ban on chocolate. I decided I had my chocolate-eating under control and I proved to myself that I could quit forever if I really, truly wanted.

On February 17, 1995 I broke the New Year's spell with a King-sized KitKat while watching the play, Kiss of the Spiderwoman on Broadway. The whole experience was divine. It's interesting to reflect on this as I'm just finishing a box of Raisinets. :) Life is better with chocolate.

BTW, grandma never gave up the smokes. Or Jim Beam for that matter. You can't inspire everyone with a chocolate restriction, I guess.

Two more points about New Year's Restrictions.

1) They have to be a stretch for you; the harder the better. But not so hard that you bag out on your word before you get any real momentum.

2) They don't have to be about denying yourself something. Sometimes, restriction is about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Doing something that you might not otherwise do. I usually reserve those goals for my birthday video because they tend to be harder to measure and I like having the tape to self-assess a year later.

OK. Here we go.....My 2007 New Year's Resolutions

Restriction #1: Food combine
This one is going to be hard for me b/c I like pizza and tunafish sandwiches, etc. I'm going to food combine everyday, with a 3-meal weekly allowance of non-combined foods. EXCEPTION: No requirements to food combine if food itself is scarce/options are very limited. EX: If I only get one banana and a bowl of rice in Malawi, I'm just going to eat it. Rather than starve, I'll just monitor calories (no more than 1500 per day) in those situations.

I food combined from 1987 thru 1991-ish. I remember my roommate Kathy Holohan gave me the nickname, "Ms. Health". I was wicked disciplined.

Basically, you don't mix proteins with carbs in any one meal. You have to wait 3 hours after a carb meal till you can have a protein meal. You need to wait at least 4 hours after protein gets digested before you can have something else. Fruit is always on its own. Vegetables go with anything. I know it's a great lifestyle diet because you end up eating a lot more fruits and vegetables than you would otherwise. And, you tend to eat less bad-for-you foods, b/c they tend to be incompatible in and of themselves.

Restriction #2: Sleep-deprived study
I resolve to wake up every night between midnight and 4am to study my kabbalah/Zohar for 30 to 101 minutes per night. Hey, if it were easy, it wouldn't be a restriction. Sorry, David. It's either this or a sex restriction. I gather this would be your preference?

Restriction #3: 101 a day
I experimented with this in November. It's actually hard because so many things come up, so I'm going to make it a resolution. Every day, I'm going to do one or more of these "101" activities to help grow my consciousness around Raising 101K for Malawi. Each day, I will choose from:

a) 101 crunches
b) 101 push ups or biceps/triceps with weight bar
c) 101 leg lifts on each leg
d) 1001 jumps on a jumprope * (101 is too easy)

I took my folks parasailing when we were in Tampa for Thanksgiving. This is them doing that.

Midas, Money and Misty: How I Raised $101K in 2007

This is going to be a really big year for me, I know it. And I need it to be to hit my $101,000 goal for Malawi.

So, what is the plan?

Well, Chanukah is over now. I've done the spiritual work. My head is in a good place, and when it slips out of that place I know how to reconnect it pretty quickly. Now, I'm ready to play the game.

While driving in Toronto with David and his son Tyler on his way to his dad's (who is really very Scottish! He's Mike Meyers' father in "So, I Married an Ax Murderer" -- very lovable!) we talked about an idea I have for a new business. David is always telling me I should do something online. I've always thought so too. The concept is "The Perfect Gift".com -- a place to get ideas and gifts for those occasions when you don't really know what to give and/or really want to make it special. More on that later. This is my money blog entry.

So, the seed of my business idea is to earmark at least 10% of my 2007 profits to Raising Malawi. That means I need to make about a million dollars -- $750K to be exact since we're not starting at zero. So that's what I'll do.

I've studied archetypes for years. I am very lucky that one of my archetypes happens to be Midas. I've had it since I was 14. Exactly like Midas, I have a special touch when it comes to manifesting money. Note: the shadow side of Midas is Miser. It's a real duality. My friends give me grief when I am late to meet them because I took the bus versus a cab. I often forget that I have money. Like David always tells me, you can take the girl out of Chicago, but you can't take the Little Matchstick out of the Girl. ;)

Anyway, when I was 14, my dog Misty got Leukemia. The picture above is of me and my brother David with Misty, an Airedale Terrier. We dressed her up in our night clothes this particular night when it was bedtime. We loved her. We got her when I was four years old. She was part of our family.

Out of nowhere, Misty started moving slow. She was dragging her tail on walks and otherwise behaving like a lazy dog. My parents took her to the vet and told me that Misty was going to die. She needed her spleen removed, but we didn't have the money for the surgery. I decided in that moment that not only would Misty have her surgery, I would always have money. I decided right then and there that I would be the clearing for money to show up when I needed it. And then I'd work my tail off to get it: shoveling driveways, babysitting, second jobs bussing tables or making milk shakes. Nothing has ever been handed to me. I've always busted my butt, which is why I have no guilt and am very free around money. And now money comes freely to me. And yes, Misty had her operation and lived a while longer. Long enough for me to painfully accept that it was indeed her time to go.

Since then, I've always found money when I needed it. I found money for college -- mine and a chunk for my ex-husband. A huge wedding. Three properties. Cars. Grad school. International vacations. Whatever my heart desired.

I share this not to brag. But to provide something. Money -- when it moves to, through and from you -- is just energy. Be miserly with it, and you won't have a lot of it. Share it or let a lot of it move through you for the right reasons -- to grow your vessel and become a being of sharing -- well, you get bigger and the Light says, woah! There's a lot of money moving through that person and she's bringing more Light into the world! I better keep her stocked.

At the same time, people can be very stupid with their money. They're gamblers and dreamers. Money doesn't come (or doesn't stay with you) when you are blocked around money. Like when you operate from a context of scarity or worse, money for nothing. "It'll just rain from the sky and fall in my lap forever." Well, good luck with that!

I know I'm sounding preachy, but it's because I have something to say on this topic. Actually, I have a LOT more to say on this topic, but I'll hold off till next year when I can make my point better through a successful business.

If you're interested, this is a good clip about the wisdom of kabbalah and the point of my studies. It's not about money, per se. But it is. It's about context. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

And I hope you'll join me in a money conversation in your own life. I'm not referring to Raising Malawi. That's not for everyone. But, there is something in your life I'm sure that you'd like to have money for. If that's the case, I invite you to play a big money game this year. Come on......snake eyes!

Cape Town Sunday Times, Business Times, March 19, 1995

Hey Donna! I love that you check in on my blog and leave comments! The blogosphere is so lonely at times. So, I dedicate this entry to you :)

Donna was one of my roommates in grad school at Northwestern. That's her pictured on the far right. There's me, third in from the left. We went to South Africa together in 1995 for one of our elective courses with Kellogg, "Global Initiatives in Management". Part of our coursework -- since we were with Medill, Integrated Marketing Communications -- was to get some PR for the NU South Africa initiative.

So we wrote a press release and made some calls when we were in-country. Naturally, we worked it so that only a handful of the Kellogg students would know when the media folks were coming. This way, Donna and I could get in all the pictures. Ha! It actually wasn't quite so calculated, but luck seemed to follow us around. Oop! Here we are again! ;)


This was my first and last trip to Africa. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever visited. I remember watching a whale out in the distance in Cape Town, where the Atlantic meets the Pacific. Donna took this picture of me there --



Yesterday, Oprah aired her visit to South Africa which she themed, "Christmas Kindness." Terrible name, but good show. I think it was filmed in 2005. She says that going to South Africa -- visiting orphans and passing out gifts to the kids -- was the best day of her life. All the girls got little Black babydolls. All the boys got soccer balls. And then some other stuff.

At one point during one of the parties, Oprah was crying uncontrollably...actually gasping. It was because it gave her so much joy to provide for these truly needy, truly grateful children. She said she actually had a joy headache.

Still, I know there is latent sadness under all the joy. Because a doll and/or a soccer ball could never be enough. These children are orphaned, fending for themselves. Going without food and clothes. Two little girls came home to find drunk men in their beds. I can think of no worse hell. Actually, I've lived that scenario myself. Er... a lot. So, as an expert I can say that it's disgusting and offensive. How can you feel safe? At least I'm an adult. I can generally fend for myself.

I have some great pictures of the kids we met in Soweto (south west township....very poor area) in 1995....but I must've put them in storage. I'll upload a few shots when I get them back.

Anyway, once you've been there, once you've seen for yourself all the majesty juxtiposed with so much struggle...you can't help be be affected. And me? I can't unsee and unknow...although I forgot for a long long time. I guess there's no real way any of us can be free if we avoid responsibility for the basic human dignity of our fellow man. We're really all one soul. It's so easy to forget or ignore or avoid that. But I really believe it. We have a moral obligation to each other at the level of human dignity. Beyond that I think it's optional.

So, I'm calling down a miracle this year. I request/create/desire that this be a BIG BIG year for me. May I seriously expand my wealth so that I can really make a difference for the forgotten children of the world.

Hold tight, Sir Bono. I'm right behind you, baby!

I’m at LaGuardia. David got me a ticket to Toronto to meet the parents. My mom advised me to smile a lot because I have good teeth. I hope that’s enough because I’m not great in new social situations. I am dressed to kill, however. And I mean that literally. I look a little like Johnny Cash. Plus, I did my eyebrows up with the new Anastasia kit from Sephora. Anastasia does Oprah’s eyebrows. Her kits are a fortune, but really worth it. It’s like I have a new face. I hope the “in-laws” will like it.

I met with my career coach David Dowd yesterday. He was so great. I’ve been struggling with my ego lately at home and at work. I am surrounded by egomaniacs, so I want to either a) run away from it all or b) bomb everyone to bits. If you’re the FBI, I don’t mean that literally. It’s just that I have a lot of frustration – anger/rage -- inside of me that doesn’t know how to fight other people’s egos without bringing my own to the surface.

David Dowd pointed out that my ego is revving in full gear right now. We’re going through a re-org at work and I’m operating in survival mode. I want to see myself as separate from all the egomaniacs around me. And "separateness" causes me to want to defend my turf (not that anyone is trying to annex it. Just feels like people are trespassing a lot lately). But, alas, turf wars are nothing more than egos running the show from survival mode. I need to put down my weapons. And it’s tough.

We also distinguished that my ego is an expert at morphing. Morphing so I can’t find her! It’s like the entry I wrote over Thanksgiving. That face of “nice.” Of course, that was before these new rockin’ eyebrows. But I digress.

The ego (desire for self alone) lives off of intensity and duality. It needs drama for intensity. The resulting experience is a placebo for the authentic self. Basically, drama provides a nice distraction from having to deal with yourself.

So, who is “self”? Who are you? Well, you're not your past. Not your future. Not your thoughts. Not your emotions. Not your body. Not your health. So who?

Who YOU are is the choosing. Strip away everything else, and you’ll see that who YOU are lives at the impulse, that beat of the 'Now' ... that choice between feeding your ego or feeding your authentic self.

That’s why alcoholics especially have to focus on taking it one day at a time. Because we’re hardwired to want to just “fix” it. And then we say “Done. It’s fixed. No more addiction. No more problem.” That gives us the very comforting illusion of being in control. But life is not a series of problems to be fixed. We convince ourselves that there’s something wrong that we can fix, and then our egos have us by the balls. That’s the mind game. And it’s hard to win it because the ego is so clever.

In the war against my own ego, I lose as often as I win.

David (my coach) offered up a good strategy: Give up being who you were. It’s not real anyway. You are not what you know, what you have, what you do. It's so true. I meet so many uninspiring people who think that those things are who they are. And it's all they talk about. They are extremely boring to be around.

The healthier focus is to turn your attention on who you are becoming. And while you're at it, notice who the person across from you is becoming in your presence. That’s an authentic life, and an exciting life to live.

My coach and I do a lot of work on the various tenets of freedom, one of which is to “Face everything. Avoid nothing.” I positively suck at that tenet.

It means dealing with your own truth...a lot of which I haven’t wanted to touch because it seems so inconsistent with the world around me. But, that’s no way to live, so I foresee lots of changes in the year ahead. Or, maybe the only change will be me. I dunno. I’m not setting out to fix anything anymore....intentionally anyway. I choose to live my truth....or at least be more aware of it.

Oh, cool! Bono is being knighted in Dublin for all the work he’s doing on Aids in Africa. They say you can’t call him sir because he’s not a British citizen. I will anyway. That’s a great honor, Sir Bono! You so literally rock.


Ok, so I should probably go to the gate now and see if it’s time to board.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good flight!

I have some ideas swirling around for my next fundraisers:

1. A NYC benefit show -- mini skits/improv/comedy. $15-20 admission. My friend Kasha is connected to lots of performers (i know some too from my improv class). Kasha knows the ins and outs about booking venues in the city and pulling this sort of thing off, so she promises to be an awesome resource. I'm thinking spring 2007.

2. A pay-it-forward video. This idea is inspired by my friend Donna from grad school. I'm going to go to Malawi early next year to document what we're doing there as well as the impact of our contribution on the people in this village.

The fundraiser concept is to burn several DVDs of this short documentary (with 'thank yous' to some of the donors by name!)....give it to a handful of those who have already donated and ask them to pay it forward within their social network. It's like a chain letter. You're asked to watch video, make donation (optional) and hand it off to someone else. I'll be the first and last person on the list so I can track how well each video does to raise add'l funds for the cause. This is also timed for late spring/early summer, as I have to get to Malawi first.


3. A charity day at the Neverland Ranch. I was in London yesterday (I'm in Frankfurt now). David met me for the London portion of my world travels....We went to see Madame Toussaud's wax museum. It was actually kind of a bust. There's a good Angelina Jolie wax likeness, but Brad looks like a melting monkey. There was also a bad waxed Michael Jackson. It sparked an idea, though -- MJ loves children. He's all about "healing the world." (it's one of his videos). And he has that cool theme park....so, what can it hurt to write him a letter? I'm going to do that in two weeks during Chanukah -- when the energy of miracles is all around!

Keep on with the force, don't stop.
Don't stop till you get enough (click here).
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough
Keep on with the force don't stop
Don't stop 'til you get enough

This is Bokang Rakabaele. He lives in Sub-Saharan Africa. He is 8. That's him on the left this past May. He has AIDs, tuberculosis and pneumonia. (Time Magazine, Dec. 4, 2006)

The photo on the right is him today, just 6 mos later. What changed? He got medicine -- he takes antiretroviral drugs (ARV) twice a day for the treatment of HIV. Without treatment, nearly a third of HIV-positive infants die by their first birthday, and half die by age 2.

My nephew Luke is 7. I hadn't seen him in almost a year! The whole family (and my David) went to Tampa this year to spend the week on the beach together for Thanksgiving. When my sister-in-law Nancy asked him if he would remember what I looked like, he said, "Yes. Aunt Julia has same color hair as yours, mama. And a laptop."

I love my little Luke. He said grace for us before turkey. It went something like, "Bless us oh Lord, for this food, which we are about to deserve...."

Ha!

Makes you think, though. Does anyone deserve food? Or, better asked, doesn't everyone deserve food? On the last night there, Luke and my dad got to talking about Christmas. My dad was telling him that Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice....so, you have to be nice if you want gifts.

Luke was contemplative a moment. Then he asked, "Papa? How many times can you be naughty?"

I live in New York, so I don't get to hang out with the little ones all that much, but when I do, I cherish it. Luke is healthy and happy; naughty or nice, he's a good kid who deserves to be a kid.

So does this little boy in Africa. And this year he got it. He lives in Lesotho, home to one of several pediatric centers of excellence for AIDS. (Four have opened--in Botswana, Lesotho, Malawi and Swaziland. Four more are in planning stages)

His Santa Clauses were:*

1)The President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief
-- allocated $63 million this year for the treatment of pediatric AIDS
2 The Clinton Foundation
-- negotiated a 50% reduction in the price of a key medication.
3)A handful of nonprofit organizations, corporations and faith-based groups began sending more doctors to the developing world to help plug some of the health-care gaps for children.

What happens next in Lesotho and the rest of sub-Saharan Africa depends a lot on how broadly these first efforts expand. All the ARVs in the world aren't going to help much if children and their families don't have enough food to build up their strength or clean water to keep from picking up infections. Tough as it has been to focus attention on children with AIDS, it has been harder for clinics to get and use a common antibiotic to prevent pneumonia and other ills in HIV-positive children who don't yet need ARVs. "One of the biggest obstacles in treating children has been having a consistent guardian," says Dr. Martha Sommers, head of clinical services at Embangweni Hospital, a church-run facility in rural Malawi. "Often the guardian is sick or dying, or the children are orphans and getting passed from one guardian to the next." (Time Magazine, Dec. 4, 2006)

I am very happy and proud to be part of a global push to help children get to be children. All children deserve to be children.

As the Time article so aptly concluded -- there will always be more to do, but at long last the work has begun.